Top 10 Sexy Traits
Posted: February 17th, 2010 | Author: admin | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »Whether you are enjoying the initial attraction or years of connection, there are certain traits in a mate that are absolutely irresistible. No, this is not about who has the biggest six-pack or the nicest car. They are the qualities that make you not only desirable, but also irreplaceable. You will find your partner missing you when you are gone, bragging about you to friends, and wondering what good fortune led him/her to such a great catch.
Drive
Rather than sitting back and seeing what life will provide, people with drive claim their lives. These are the knights that face dragons rather than ignore them. They see what they want and recognize their role in making it happen. Time is fluid- they focus on the future by learning from the past and seeing what can be done with the present. Such people are intoxicating for others because seeing such passion for life provokes others to see their own potentials. Nothing is sexier than hope!
Honesty
Eliminating hidden agendas, omitted details, and secrets creates emotional safety. There is no unnerving feeling that something is off. There is no need to assume the suspicious role of a detective. With integrity and trustworthiness, comes comfortable rest.
Self Control
This is really another word for the ability to choose. When something else is driving behavior (i.e., addiction, impulsivity, and hormones), there are no guarantees so there are no reliable commitments. When someone wants it all and cannot say “no” to himself/herself, they risk losing what he/she already has.
Be Appealing
A partner may be able to offer unconditional love, but whether or not there is attraction (especially enduring) is dependent upon the level of appeal. Consider how you want to present yourself to the person you hope will hunger for you. If you take care of yourself, have good manners, and promote positive qualities, you maximize what you are able to offer. If you have stinky feet, belch, and talk about how ugly you are, that is a lot for your partner to overlook.
Listen
Do you realize that people tend to interrupt every 17 seconds! Most conversations look like two people sitting like hungry cats, poised to pounce on any gap in the conversation. For those who want a relationship rather than an audience, listening is key. Listening shows the other person that what they think and feel has value to you. You show that you’re willingness to think more about your partner than yourself. It is a moment of self-less sacrifice in order to be truly present for the other person.
Be Respectful
If you haven’t guessed it by now, love is largely based on how the other person feels when he/she is with you. Respect involves showing the other person that they hold esteem and honor in your eyes. This trait, however, will have little value if it is dependent upon conditions. It’s easy to show kindness when things are going well, but it takes real maturity and character to be able to be kind even when there is hurt and anger.
Be Yourself
If you attempt to be more than what you are, the paradox is you might feel more desirable but you will also feel less loved. Your partner has learned to care about a façade or a fantasy of you, not the real you. Therefore, any love you receive is not for you but for the image. When the real you shines through, the love you receive is totally yours to enjoy.
Altruism
Altruism is the ability to recognize that there is more to life than taking. There is concern for others and the realization that there is a part we each can play in helping to make life more comfortable for others. This blends other traits already mentioned- a take charge attitude, hope, caring and empathy and directs them to a wider focus.
Work at it
When life gets busy and a relationship comfortable, it is easy to take the connection for granted. However, if this lasts for any length of time, a disconnection begins to grow and before you know it, you feel more like roommates than lovers. A major factor in maintaining a fulfilling, enduring relationship is to continue to make it a priority. Continue to woo- remember to do the things that helped you fall in love in the first place. Change things up so it stays fresh. Refuse to let issues go unaddressed so you stay open and engaged.
Humor
Joy and laughter are the fuel that gets us through even the toughest days. It relaxes the body, boosts the immune system, and releases body’s natural “happy” chemical (endorphins). Plus it’s fun! If used along with empathy to help a partner put things in perspective, you become an invaluable support system.
